christmas #1

so today i had my first official christmas of 2008!  my Nana and Papa came up for dinner.  since they are going to organ to be with my "cousins" for christmas, we had our christmas with them tonight.  they got here around 4:30, but i worked until 6:00--so when i got home i had to quickly make a transformation from girl with a vest to girl in a dress.  

before we left for din din we had present time.  josh got some awesome swim trunks.  reenie got a cashmere sweater and a disneyland pass.  and i got a totally classy christmas, i.e. a cashmere sweater and pearl earrings.  heck yes my friends.  i am going to be a super classy lady!

then we went to dinner at Mastro's (the most amazing freaking steak i've ever had in my ENTIRE life--and that says a lot because i grew up around steak.  my dad was the GM for the chart house for 12 years and at 6 years old my favorite food was prime rib. so when it comes to steak, i don't mess around. )  it was the real deal.  

funny conversations, good food, and lots of wedding questions...a good night!

(lots of funny new stories to tell!)

YAY CHRISTMAS!!  

done!!

so excited!  school is done.  i can't worry about it or stress about it because it is all in the past.  

I'm really proud of myself I didn't get stressed this entire semester until the last 3 hours.  Two hours before my last final I realized that I didn't understand one section of the material which would be covered on my final and no one's explanation made sense to me, so i stressed.  Luckily I figured it our and I made it.  finals are over.  this semester is over.  i'm so excited to just get to focus on the wedding and getting excited to be a wife!

praise the lord for seeing me through

every kiss begins with kay

okay if you haven't seen one of the 4 cheesy kay jewelers commercials..you are really missing out.

soooo dorky!  every time one is on i just am shocked that they can't do better.  their commercials are always on and so you know they have the money for advertising, but they don't want to use them for making good commercials-they just use them to put them on constantly.  

you've got to check it out if you haven't seen it.  my favorite is the one when they guy is like do you remember this place, do you remember this place and finally the girl says i don't remember this place and he says...you will!   cheese ball...then he proposes...interesting stuff

don't forget..."that every kiss begins with kay!"

count downs

25 days to go!

so for some reason the only question i get asked recently is..."what's the countdown?"

so i'm always guessing, but today i know...25 days  (which also means that it is 10 days until Christmas!)

good times to come

bah!

i should be studying for finals, but i have wedding things to do!!!

so i'm doing wedding things.  this is soo very bad.

school just needs to be done!

and when someone asks for all responses to be returned by the 15th of December---35% of them shouldn't still be missing

the end is near

i see it off in the distance...the distance of Wednesday evening.  

a million assignments, papers, assigned reading, and projects down.

two tests to go (plus one reflection paper, but its so itsy bitsy that it doesn't really count).

this has been one of the most insane semesters of my life.  i've never not been so concerned with getting good grades, but its been really good.  i've had so many other things going on in my life that if i had cared so much it would have made me crazy and totally unhealthy (before you say that i'm crazy  now-just picture me with the stress of being a perfectionist in school on top of that...i'm way less crazy).  

now that the end is near, i'm getting really excited.  soon to married to the love of my life, my best friend.  so basically my life rocks!

injured, injured bad

i woke up this morning to mom, "Kaitlin, I have some bad news"

i immediately thought someone had died--why else would my mom be waking me up at 6:00 in the morning?

she continued to say your car got hit last night.  the second she said that i woke right up.  she went on to say that it was a hit and run and that Reenie was leaving for school this morning and saw the remnants of the crash.  

some moron hit my parked car at like 4:20 in the morning.  they hit my car so hard that my car hit into my sister's car which was parked behind me and shattered her toll road transponder.  

so we waited for the cops to come and do a report.  the cop was supper nice and really funny.  he really helped lighten the mood and he really thinks there is a good chance that we will find the guy (which i hope is true! because I don't have the money to pay my deductible to get it fixed and there has got to be a couple thousand dollars worth of damage)  so we will see!

my car is pretty beat up.  the front bummer is smashed, my left headlight is smashed.  the frame around my left front tire is smashed into the tire.  there is liquid from my engine dripping (i.e. engine damage--yikes!) and it is just a wreck!

it is really a good thing this didn't happen like a year ago because i would be a wreck.  i LOVE my car and back then i loved it probably a bit too much and i would have been devastated.  my mom and josh are both shocked that i'm so calm right now--but maybe i'm still in shock?  who knows?

so the first thing i thought of when i went out there was...my baby is injured, injured bad (from that hospital commercial)

wiiiii!

wii (we) got a wii!

josh and i got a wii for a shower gift yesterday!  WAHOOO!

so clean!

lots of showers!!

i had two wedding showers this weekend, both given by my church homes!  it was really fun to get to celebrate my upcoming wedding with my church family.

yesterday PCI threw me a beautiful shower.  it was really fun for me to get to introduce my mom to the people who are important to me and my ministry.  it was really nice to spend some good girl time! 

today Foothills threw me a shower.  it was really fun to go to church there today and get to see everyone again.  it had been so long since i'd been there.  it was really nice to be there and to get to celebrate with the ladies.  

I love the body of Christ.  it is so encouraging to see how they come around you and support you.  

it was really a fun weekend! plus we got some great things for our new place!  

very fun!

tree for me

all week I've been looking forward to tonight!

tonight we got our christmas tree and decorated!  it was so much and we got a beautiful, big, bodacious tree.  it was so fun to decorate and have fun with the family!

YAy for christmas and christmas trees!

Happy December!

I'm so excited that it is finally december!  which means christmas time!!!

We are getting our tree this Thursday and I can't wait!  

I LOVE CHRISTMAS!

The Return

My dearest friend and homeschooler Dustin returned to California, where he belongs!  

It was so much fun to hang out with Dustin all day today.  He has been in Italy all semester and now he is back (well until Wednesday-in California that is).  

We got to catch up and hear all of his fun stories from his trip.  It was really good to get to hang and be together.

Since Dustin is an art student (from Italy) we decided to do a photo shoot with his newish (new to me) camera.  So Reenie and I got all did up (if you could call it that) and Josh, Dustin, Reenie, and I headed to the hills for some sweet photo action.  It was really fun and I totally felt like I was going "to be on top."  Except for the whole I don't know how to model thing but these are just minor details, right?  But needless to say it was fun!

Then we returned for a good home cooked meal, jacuzzi, homework/Dustin edited, and DH.

All and all it was really good to have my boy Duuuuusty back!

Welcome Homeschool Dustin!

the new and improved way to date!

So fun!  A week ago Josh and I had things to do on our own so we went our separate ways.  We both ended up on the computer and we were both totally distracted.  I kept facebooking (which I never really do) and Josh was on so we started chatting in that chat thing/aim thingy.  This continued for awhile as we continued to "get things done" while periodically chatting.  Yet suddenly Josh remembered iChat.  So that's what we did!  It was so much fun.  We had a good time with it and I have a few proofs from the evening I thought I'd share!

This is Josh showing me the mirror...i.e. thats why there are two of me

This is Josh's CD cover for his upcoming album

We were laughing the whole time at our "date"

we definitely had fun changing our effects

So next time you want a free date, thank Mac for iChat!

Reunited and it feels so good!

I love rediscovering something you once loved!

For me this break it was Rock Band.  I forgot how I loved to play and how I spent hours upon hours playing with my friends and family and how that really was so much fun.  From Thursday to Saturday, I played 4 times.  

It was so much fuN!

Yay Rock Band!

uneasy

i feel sick to my stomach.  i'm uneasy.  i want to control these things.  i want to just be happy and like it all.

but i can't

distraught

my phone has died!  i've been so frustrated with it lately that it is probably mad at me for not loving it.  

so if you know how to fix an iPhone when it just dies completely....you let me know!

i never realized how many things i use my phone for.  it has so much on it that I use it constantly!

iTunes

so today i opened up my iTunes because i wanted to buy a song and as it opened Josh and I started cracking up.  This is what appeared!

Now 24!  Dang I am such a dork.  But the good thing is i did NOT buy that CD personally, I just put it on my computer.  plus it is from a long time ago.  

but needless to say,

it cracks me up!

(thought i'd share)

Yay for my girl Sarah!

tonight was sooo darn good!  i love it when God has bigger plans than I do for my life.  

Let me just start off by saying that God is just soo good and sooo very amazing!  I love HIM!

So tonight as I was driving home from work (or i guess technically over to josh's house) I decided to call up my girl sarah.  It was just so good to talk to her and be there for her and have her be there for me.  I was just so encouraged by her.  She is such a godly woman who just brings people joy even in the midst of the difficulties that life throws her way.  She is such an encouragement to me.  We talked about the hard stuff and we were both encouraged.  God spoke to us tonight through each other and it was just so rad (look at me talking/writing like her...i do that when i'm around her...i pick up her lingo).  I was just reminded that God has a plan for EVERYTHING in our lives.  

Although we talked about so many amazing things, there is just one thing that I want to share with yall.  We were talking and i realized that God has a plan for our friendship and it just blew my mind.  of course this is something that i "know," but to actually realize it and get a glimpse of it tonight was just so exciting.  I was telling Sarah that it is so easy for me to get comfortable with God and just know that he is a big God with big love.  It is just so easy to have that be meaningless truths in my life and it is moments when I realize the way God uses my friendships with people (specifically I realized this tonight about sarah) that I see God's love and his bigness before my eyes.  My friendship with this amazing girl blows my mind.  God wants me to have her in my life and we love each other and we love God and it is just the most exciting thing for me to experience that and realize that I have the most amazing friends! We can be there for each other in EVERYTHING and we can point each other to God and we can support each other in all things and it is just so unique.  

I'm just really thrilled that God loves me so much that I now have Sarah!  When I think about how we were put together, I just see God at work.  There is no possible way that you could look at that situation and not see God's hand.  It is just so cool.  The way our friendship is just proves to me that God is real and he is involved in the details in my life.  

I love moments when God smacks me upside the head and says check out what I'm doing for you my little girl, I love you.

buzz butt

so yesterday morning Josh and I were driving up to Biola.  As we were getting off of the freeway my butt started to go crazy.  My left cheek kept twitching...really intensely and in a pattern.  I thought it was so strange, but I went with it.  So after this had been going on for like 15 minutes, I started to worry.  So i put my hand down on the chair next to my butt just to find Josh's phone.  His phone that vibrates every time you touch it.  Immediately I started cracking up.  It was so funny.  I thought something was wrong with my butt, but in reality I was just hitting the phone on accident. 

exhausted

so this weekend was completely exhausting!  we had the all nighter and i was up and good on energy until 6am...then i CRASHED!  I got so tired.  so i got home around 9am on Sunday morning and slept until 4pm.  So i was still tired and i had to write a paper last night.  so i got past the point of being tired, so then I couldn't fall asleep until really really late and so i am officially exhausted!

but YAY GLOW

new

YAY!  today josh and i got to go look at our condo!  I am just so excited to start my life with him!  I am going to come home everyday to the man of my dreams!

already!

so a pet peve of mine is that everyone always forgets about thanksgiving.  what the heck?  the second halloween is over everyone puts up christmas lights.  now don't get me wrong i love christmas lights, but PLEASE let us first enjoy thanksgiving!!

at least 3 of my neighbors already have their lights up and trust me, they did not put them up themselves.  where is the joy in christmas lights when they are a month early and you don't put them up yourself.  

boo!

what do you live for?

eyes

Reenie and i can't roll our eyes.

*Reenie just blinks

*I just look up and down

I don't get why my mom would always say, "Don't roll your eyes at me" when we where younger.  I don't think that is a talent you can loose. So she must have been lying!  

what if?

so today i googled my husband to be and i learned something new about him.  

he is a star football player at Mary Hardin-Baylor.  and although i've never heard of this school, i found headlines saying he is the hero for Mary Hardin-Baylor and I couldn't be more proud.  

Look at my baby go!

HAHA what if?!

voting

i'm excited to vote.  

today i researched all of the props and i'm ready to hit up the polls!

breaking up

it is hard to do!  i've never been good at breaking up with people or calling things off.

this is something that i've had to work on ever since josh and i got engaged.  it is a weird dynamic, the relationships which are created between the vendors you meet with as you plan your wedding.  the process which you must undergo to learn their experience and most importantly find out how outrageously expensive they are (and see if they are less of outrage than the others).  during this process it is totally like a dating relationship.  they call you to check up on you, see you have any questions, or concerns.  they want to know how the search is going (if you there is someone else).  but all along you can't tell them that you are "seeing other people"/vendors.  it is a really awkward situation, because all along they know there is someone else, but they are hoping that they are the better of the two (or several).  

as this process starts it is easy to eliminate vendors.  after some first meetings you know that it is not for you and you immediately can call them up and say thanks for your time, but you don't fit our style/personality/vision/price range and although it is still uncomfortable to do, you do it with ease.  

as the process goes on it becomes more and more difficult.  you narrow down your search to a few.  and you become a player, leading on several vendors at a time.  then eventually you have to make the decision.  this is no longer an easy decision to make.  all of the vendors have something you like, that is why your courtship has lasted as long as it has, but who do you like the most.  who are you comfortable entrusting that one aspect of your wedding to?  one of them may totally fail and this is something that every vendor tells you on one of your dates, they share of their competitors who have failed, who have the horror stories, but they won't tell you who they are.  so then you start to wonder are they talking about one of the other vendors i'm dealing with or are they talking about themselves.  scary!

eventually you make the decision (which for me is a total struggle, because there are so many different things i like about them all and then i just have to commit and this is a struggle for me because i need to know everyone else's opinion: i.e. my mom and josh's.  and then if they give me their opinion and it wasn't what i was leaning towards my mind starts to freak out and start to re-think it all. it is very nerve racking).  

then comes the infamous breakup!  you have to call every vendor and break it to them gently.  explain that there is someone else out there who is just better.  then they try to hold on offering something or telling of how excited they were to do your wedding and how they had so many ideas.  and then it is easy to question yourself and you have a few seconds to figure it out and the pressure is more than you can bare.  but you overcome and stand strong behind the decision you've already made.

once you hang up that phone it is OVER!  no more thinking about past relationships.  once the decision has been made there is no more cheating.  no thinking about what if i'd gone with... because then trouble will come.  

Today i ended the last wedding relationship i'll ever end!!!

it is over!

wishing

i wish people understood or at least cared to ask and actually listen.

Side Sitters

so josh and i totally have this pet peeve about side sitters.  you know what i'm talking about.  when you go out to eat and there is always that couple who sits on the same side of the table.  it is just soo very awkward.  they are just sitting side by side and have to turn their necks completely to even be able to look at each other.  

today i was at the caf and saw some side sitters and it just reminded me of last year.  for like two weeks straight last semester every time josh and i would go to lunch or dinner together at the caf there was this one side sitting couple who would sit by us.  it became totally uncomfortable because every time they would be facing us and it felt like we were their evening's entertainment because they both were facing us and there was nothing in between us.  soo uncomfortable.  

Anywhoo,  that is how josh and i truly came to feel awkward for the side sitting couples who don't realize how awkward they are.  

(if you happen to be a side sitter, i apologize for the bashing, but maybe try sitting across from each other.  i'm sure that if you do your neck won't hurt after dinner and you can focus on your significant other.  plus you will make it much more comfortable for those around you also trying to enjoy their meal)

world religions

so i'm in this world religions class and i'm not really too into it.   it is interesting to learn about other religions, but the way this class is taught is not particularly interesting.  so unless it is taught in an interesting way, i am not a fan.

i love jesus. 

sorry.

fortunately tonight we got out two hours early!  hip hip hooray!

I kicked my professor

So today we had the Torrey Conference and we were sitting in the bleachers for an hour and forty-five minutes.  By this time my butt was completely numb and I was wayyy uncomfortable. I kept shifting around trying to uncomfortable.  I moved several times and tried several positions to protect my aching bottom.   My professor from the class I dropped earlier this semester was sitting in front of me.  Unfortunately at one point I had my knees up and I was holding them to my chest with my arms when suddenly one of them slipped.  My leg swung out and without any control, I kicked my professor.

opps?  it really was an accident 

womanizer

so i was just looking at the iTunes store and saw that Britney Spears has a new video.  being curious i decided to watch the preview.

it is sooo very ironic!  She is singing about this guy who is a womanizer and yet she is naked dancing in this steam room.  She thinks she is just being sexy, but she is making herself an object which makes it possible for men to be "womanizers" and further more she is encouraging them to be.  

hmm.

good one brit!

comforting

i always find it interesting to see how people respond when you share with them the troubles you are currently facing.  The majority of people's responses are something along the lines of "everything will be okay or work out."  And while sometimes that is comforting, more often than not that drives me crazy.  I don't want to hear its all going to work out and everything will be okay.  Because in the midst of that confession their is pain and suffering.  I don't want to be fixed, I don't want to hear its going to be okay, because if I thought it would be I wouldn't be sharing.  

i love it when someone just sits with me in my pain.  i love it when people say "that is difficult."  without trying to fix me or comfort me, these responses bring comfort.

so much dharma

today in my world religions class we talked about Buddhism.

    suffering and desire...

            ....so much dharma!

jamie

Today i googled Jamie Vandewarker!

  I was trying to find her blog, but no luck.

booo!!

she is all over the place for water polo!  yaa girl--you rock, rock!

Fro to the yo!

So to be quite honest there was a time when I had a problem.  I was addicted.  I probably spent more money on my addiction than was necessary.

I helped Golden Spoon get its start.

I was addicted to fro yo-addicted.

Eventually Josh pointed out that it was a problem.  I was totally in denial, but eventually I came around.  Slowly, but surely I let my fro yo slip away.  My daily visits lessened to every couple days, to once a week, to twice a month, to once a month, to never craving it.  I was no longer addicted.  

It probably never would have happened if my favorite flavor was year-round.  BOYSENBERRY!!!  it is heavenly!  and ....

..

  ...

     ....

.....it is BACK!

For this month and this month only, forget yogurtland, cherry on top, whatever other fro yo places there are and visit my favorite G-SPOON to get some FRO YO BOYSENBERRY style!!

Hallelujah! 

prayers please!

my aunt cindy is back in the hospital.

prayers please!

stuff

materialism makes me sad.  where we live all anyone cares about is stuff.

i am sick of all of the girls being obsessed with models and their disgustingly skinny bodies. all of the designer name brands. and being so concerned with appearance and stuff.

no wonder no one knows who they are.

no wonder we are insecure.

no wonder we don't know who God is.

no wonder we don't know who we are in Christ.

no wonder we lose our identities. 

this thing we simply call christianity...my little reminders

so as i'm killing myself trying to study for my theology test...there were a few quotes i wanted to share with you all ...some quotes/thruths that really hit me/spoke to me/made me say "sooo true!"

soo, here we go...

*Jesus is eternal life

*the Goal of salvation is NOT eternal life

*Salvation is a work of God for man rather than a work of man for God.

*faith is supposed to be a JOYOUS thing--it is a feeling

*we are all spiritual virgins -->by justification

*there is faith that is less than saving faith-->i.e. like that of the demons

*God doesn't play it safe!

*A safe God is someone I have domesticated=boring!!

and my favorite...Salvation isn't about being safe

naked

i've been naked lately!  but it all ended yesterday.

I didn't have my ring (my bling ring) because the jeweler had to fix it for me.  So since sunday I was naked.  I freaked out a million times thinking that I had lost it, but my baby is home again.  Right where it belongs on my finger!

yay

hip hip horray!

she farted

Praying for a fart!

My aunt had surgery on her intestines last Thursday.  She had a blockage because of a car accident she was in when she was in elementary school.  When her body produces scare tissue, too much is made and this caused a blockage across her intestines so that nothing could come out.  This is not the first time this has happened to her unfortunately.  It can be life threatening.

Luckily, the surgery went well and she is out of harms way.  She has been in the hospital since then.  They just introduced food to her again to see if everything is working properly.  

Last night when I got home my mom was like "we need to pray for a fart."  (once she farts they will be able to release her.)

i thought this was hilarious!  so i thought i'd share...

...so pray for a fart!

Runners!

Something I've always loved is people running!  It just makes me really happy.  Especially when someone is fully dressed in normal clothes with their backpack or purse, but mostly with the backpack.  

We do have a few runners at our school which really makes me happy!  It really just makes my day to see a funny runner.  

thats all!

Pog Blog

Do you remember pogs?  Kindergarten and first grade right?  

Well my pogs were lost when we moved from Palm Springs back to San Diego the summer going into second grade-or so I thought!  For the past 15 years my mom has always told us this story about our move.  My dad was transfered to the La Jolla Chart House from the one in Palm Springs, so we moved back to San Diego.  Unfortunately our house still had another family living in it so we had to move in with my grandparents for a couple of months until our house was vacant again.  Since we could not bring all of our things to my grandparents house, most of our belongings were in storage out in the desert.  The day we went to move back into our house, my dad went out to the desert to make sure the movers got all of our belongings in the truck so that they could move us into our home.  (this is where my mom's story comes in!)  So for the past 15 years my mom has been mad at my dad because all of the boxes didn't make it to our house.  My dad left before the movers had finished loading up the truck because he was going golfing.  So my mom blamed my dad because our pogs never made it home.  I was devastated!  The pog fad had not yet passed and here I was in a new school without pogs! (totally horrible right?)

So this is a story that has been told several times over the years (josh can vouch for that one).  

This past weekend my parents were cleaning out the garage.  My mom comes running into my room holding my pogs!!  (Whaaaaaat!)  Yes, she found the box!  we had since then moved it with us from San Diego to our house here in Rancho 13 years ago.  My mom had never opened the box because it was labeled "Kids Crafts" and she didn't think that our pogs would be there.

So needless to say, I was very excited to get my pogs back!  Although I do remember having more (in a bigger pog sleeve thingy), so maybe one of the boxes is still missing!!!  

My mom apologized to my dad and all is restored!

cats are easily embarrassed

so this morning i wake up and my cat, Maddy, is scratching at the back door. so i let her in and go back into my room to grab my homework. when i walked out of my room i saw my cat licking my dog's leg (Rusty).  it was soo cute!  normally the two of them fight or play roughly together.  Rusty is always fascinated by Maddy, but Maddy is never interested.  Probably once every other week Rusty has a scratch on his face because he got too close to little miss Maddy.  

so it was hilarious to witness this interaction.  yet as soon as Maddy saw me, see got embarrassed and walked away.  

"life is a run-away train you can't wait to jump on"

friends!! i love us!

Rock Band for the Meggers and Jamers

sarah and i play

ROOOOCK IT!...i love their faces --filled with concentration

getting back in the swing of things

Summer, oh how i love summer!  But one of the worst things of all time is the end of summer.  I just have the hardest time adjusting to school again.  Summer is too long for an easy transition into school.  

I'm trying to write papers and that sort of thing (that darn homework thing!) and i keep making so many typos and then I realized that its like i can't really spell anymore (well not that I've ever been good at it, but this is worse than usual).  I am hoping that once i get back in the swing of things that it will just come back to me!

Busy Busy MEE!

My life has just been a whirlwind lately!  I never really know what is going on and I'm constantly running from one thing to the next--yikes.

So recap of my craziness:

*youth stuff (planning the people hunt and seeing it through and helping Josh with message stuff and debriefing his crazy days of construction and relationships and drama!)

*working a TON! (trying to get the gym in shape for september and reorganize rolls and stuff which got waayy messed up this summer. But making some mula which is always a plus)

*school started (i'm taking 15 units and all but one of my classes are really hard and they all have a ton of homework)

*planning the wedding (which is going okay...but there is just so much more that needs to get done, but the thing is i need to find a time when josh can do somethings with me because they require his approval.  BUT good news i'm going to my first fitting next saturday--yaay i loooove my dress)

*ohh and i need to do my chapel make ups which are due on Tuesday--BAH!!

--so basically i never sleep and my brain is constantly running through something.  this is going to be a crazzzy semester!  i think i might start to loose it at some point, but once it is over i get to marry the man of my dreams---sooo it is all worth it!

my ears are too small

So today i decided to finally cave and buy a bluetooth device.  so i went to target and asked the guy to help me out...i finally decided on the expensive one that was on sale (right good strategy...?--wrong!)

apparently kaitlin erwin is not made for this kind of technology!  my ears are too small and the stupid thing won't stay on.  so although it works really well, my ear is too small...so i guess i'm back to no talking in the car!  boooo!

satan sucks

i hate satan.  

i'm sick of him messing with my life.

i'm sick of him messing with those around me.

i'm sick of him ruining my days.

baaah!

silence please!

for the past 45 minutes the alarm at the school down the street from my house has been going off...and it is driving me insane!

i'm sick of the constant noise 

i love him

i am in love!!

well this isn't really ground breaking news, but i am 120% head over heels for Josh!  

we got to go out on a date tonight (which is something we haven't gotten to do in a few weeks because of his job and my job and the fact that he went away to camp for a week came home and we had something going on every single night the next week and then the following week i went to tahoe).  it is just so nice to be together just the two of us.  we got to have dinner and afterwards some tea and a little window shopping.  a night of good conversation, long waits at dinner, and a good time together.  

i love him!

bomb threat

today didn't really play out the way I had expected it to.  I was supposed to babysit and then go to work.  so i woke up and everything was going according to plan--i was babysitting for my mom's meeting and suddenly my mom tells me i need to go home right now because there was a bomb threat at a house right across the way from my house.  so i rushed home to help my sister collect the animals and get out of the house and away from there.  as i pulled up to my house the entrance to the street which the house was on was caution taped off and there were several fire trucks, cop cars, undercover cop cars, and cops guarding the entrance.  

so needless to say it was kind of a crazy day.  

reenie and i (plus amy, rusty, and maddie) went over to megan's for the afternoon--yay megan!! 

turns out that the house (which is the notorious crime house in our neighborhood. mom is a prostitute and has gone to jail for it several times.  son set a fire in the canyon behind our neighborhood.  all into drugs.  it is believed that they have a meth lab.  the dad has been sent away to jail.  the daughter has a baby.  and the list goes on and on...) had explosives buried in the backyard.  according to the news an ex convicted (thinking the mom) called the police reporting that a man (thinking it is the son who is like 23 or 4) was burying explosives in the yard and according to my neighbor who is the chief of the fire department they believed that if the bomb would blow it would take down a 3 block radius.  so eventually the cops got a search warrant and they found the bomb, removed it, and blew it up in this cool bomb squad truck/car thingy (i saw it as they were driving away it was like a truckish thing that had this metal box thingy on a trailer-like thingy and a circle metal thingy and i guess that is where they blew it up). so my hood is safe, but it was quite the unexpected event of the day.

not at all how i planed my day

Tahoe!!

Last week was amazing!

My family and I went on vacation up north in Lake Tahoe.  My grandparents have a house up there (a beautiful house which is 70 feet from the lake with an amazing view may I add) and they let us use it for the week.  It was so nice to just get away from work and wedding plans and stress.  I was just so worn out before I left and was in desperate need of some serious vaca.  It was great--we went out on the boat (they let us use their boat as well) everyday, well everyday but one and that day we went down the truckee river.  I am such a water girl, i just love it.  It is just so refreshing and renewing and it is truly freeing for me.  So we would go on the boat all day and then we would come home relax/go to town/get ready for dinner, go out and then just hang out as a family and play games and talk and go on walks.  I loved it--a whole lot of nothing basically but relaxation which is totally my type of vacation.  

I really just got to leave all of my stress behind and relax.  It was really good for me because i needed some good God time and I really got to do that during the week.  I tried to set aside about an hour a day for me and God.  I re-read the Johns: 1, 2, 3 (since I had read them the week before for Josh's taste-test challenge haha) and it was really good to meditate on them and just let the words hit my heart and sink in.  So each day I would try to put into practice whatever i had learned that day in my reading (or the day before because I didn't get to read everyday).  God really spoke to me and I feel like he is shifting my vision and helping me focus on truth and areas of my life that need to be changed.  It was really good to just let God speak to me without the distractions of life which I am constantly bombarded with at home.  I also have been trying to set aside my exercise time as worship time as well (fit for christ inspiration baby!) and so I worked out like four times this past week and just put my ipod on to phil the wickman and just let my focus be on the words of the worship songs.  I really just let those words be my prayers and I feel like God is just starting to work in mighty ways in my life.  I'm just really excited about God right now!

So the fun events of the week!

• Learned how to drive a boat

• found a tiny stop sign which was really high up on a thick pole (ps if you didn't know i love random things like something really big or really small, basically just anything out of place)
  

• i went in the water everyday and tried to help make the 52 degree water a little warmer (if you get what I'm saying--tinkle time)
  
• won an imaginary $60 playing black jack (but this was huge because I almost lost $400...so $60 ain't too shabby) 
  
  
• tried my first oyster (it was okay, but i would personally never order it)
  
  
  
• ate 4 hula pies (I had some help, but always seemed to finish off the last big hunk...exhibit A)
  
  
  
• Got to see my sarah baby! and play and catch up

• ate my first scallion (thanks surah!)

• got bit by a canadian goose

• got sick and threw up five times on the last night (y'all should be glad I don't have a picture of that because you know i'd put it up!)

so it was great!!! but it is good to be home...i suppose.  No but really it is so good to be with Josh again and just to get to share what God has been doing in my life and hear about him and his week and just be together.  I'm also glad to be back and get to see my friends and get some wedding plans done.  

so i'm hoping i don't go crazy again and need to go on vacation, but hey i wouldn't mind round two of tahoe summer!

heaviness

there are times when i just feel the heaviness of sin.  right now i'm just feeling sad about the holds satan has in the lives of those around me.  he is sly--really sly.  he really pisses me off!!!  last january i started praying that God will help me love what he loves and hate what he hates--it is moments like this that i feel like God has answered this prayer.  

i feel heavy

freeway names

The other day i was driving along and for some reason i started to think about how we name the freeways.  Whenever we talk about a freeway with 3 digits we say the 4-0-5, the 1-33, the 2-41, but why don't we say the four hundred and five, the one hundred and thirty-three, the two hundred and forty-one.  

so from now on i'm going to call them the four hundred and five ...and so on! 

Soon to return

Yay my boy comes home tomorrow!!!

i've really missed him this week while he has been away at camp with the youth group!

i can't wait to hear about all that God has been doing this week in the lives of our kids and i can't wait to reconnect with my joshie!  

(ps. it is tough being the one at home-- doing nothing but working while the other is off having fun, but i guess i shouldn't complain considering i did go to europe for a month last summer...opps?)

my God has done mighty things for me!!!

so for the past few days i've had this song stuck in my head!  normally having a song stuck in my head would drive me nuts, but this song has really been good for me.  

i don't know if i actually know the words, because it is a new one for me.  it goes something like...

"i'm going to stand and praise my God

my God has done mighty things for me!"

and having these words stuck in my head this past week (so i guess it isn't the whole song stuck in my head because i don't know all of the words..) has really been a great reminder for me.  i've just been able to reflect on the truth of these words and i've realized that i typically live life without being daily reminded that God has done mighty things for me and that i must be praising him.  

so i'm trying to live a life with the knowledge of who God is and with the recognition of what he has done for me, so that i can then go out into the world praising him and sharing him with all whom i encounter through the joy that he has given me!

sick of being sick

So i've been sick basically since May.  yes it has been on and off, but it is basically the same thing again and again.  

first i got bronchitis--so antibiotics, resting, missing a week and a half of school.  then ear ache/throat thing--call doctor and he is booked so sends me in a prescription.  then again ear/throat thing...my ear hurt so bad that i was almost in tears my whole birthday dinner--go into doctor he says i have a throat infection and gives me a stronger prescription to get rid of this thing for good.  i take the last pill for my prescription...the next day my ear starts to hurt again.  for a week my ear is hurting and bugging me so i just take advil religiously and it seems to be okay.  finally last wednesday i get full on sick...AGAIN! i mean full on sick--sneezing, congestion, soar throat, achey all over, ear hurts, and so on.  so i go back to the doctor (yet this time its another guy because my doctor's wife just had a baby--yay for them!)  so this dude tells me i have some sinus problems.  puts me on antibiotics, flownase (nasal spray), over the counter sudafed, over the counter noise spray.  he tells me that if i'm not 100% in two weeks then i need to go get a cat scan because i have some serious sinus issues.  

so i'm hoping and praying that i can beat this thing and beat it quick.  ---i'm sick of being sick!

i'm sick of the lack of compassion.  

we need God

i just read a news article about human trafficking in the U.S.  It was about two teenage girls...and i just feel so sick and paralyzed now.  

our world is so sick!  we need God!  we need Him desperately.  

just reading the stories of these two girls and learning that these girls are just broken down until they are nothing...it just kills me.  I was just reminded of this reality and i feel so compelled to be praying for this huge problem.  

there is so much pain in our world.  we need to pray for the lost.  we need to pray for those who have been completely brainwashed and made into slaves.  we need to remember those who are not strong enough to pray for themselves.  we need to pray for God's redemption in this situation throughout the world.  

 

the lost art of confrontation

confrontation-why do we live lives where we act like all is good in our little world when in reality it isn't?

We need to rediscover confrontation.  This is something that I've been learning this past year which is way hard!  But God's been showing me that I need to be someone who lives by my convictions, especially those which are biblically based.  Last semester I was given many opportunities to stand up for what is good.  It was difficult and it didn't always end in a "thank you Kaitlin for speaking truth to me," but more often in a lost friendship.  But God has given me a peace about that because I was speaking the words He gave me.  

So for sometime I've been thinking about this one situation and I just know that I need to confront.  I'm nervous, but I know it needs to be done.

Muffins!

Today marks the end of my 10 days with Muffin...

For the past 10 days I've been house sitting in a beautiful house in Robinson Ranch.  This family has the sweetest dog whom Josh has renamed "Muffin."  Roxy is Muffin's legal name, but she will always be fondly remembered as Muffin.  Josh has this thing where he thinks that whatever thoughts pop into his head must be the way things ought to be.  Point in case: Muffin.  Josh met Roxy and within the first hour he decided she didn't look like a Roxy, but he was positive that she was "Muffin."  And so we went with it and he was actually right this time (and when I say he was right this time I mean to say that he isn't always right when he decides to rename something/one/animal).  Muffin became our pride and joy this past week despite her one flaw.  She pees.  

And when I say she pees...i mean she pees a lot.  So I decided to rename her breed, for her and for her alone.  She is a Shitzoo, but I think this is a mistake...she is really a Peezoo!  Yet the weird thing is that it is a submissive thing.  So when you first get home she is so excited to see you that she can't control it and every time you bend down to pet her, she squats down to the ground and starts peeing.  Yet once you've been home for five minutes, she is fine (as long as you don't get her too excited).  At first this was a big annoyance, yet after the first few days I learned that if I brought her outside as soon as I got home and petted her several times until the pee stopped, she was fine the rest of the time.  So once this problem was resolved--i fell for Muffin!  Josh and I totally love this dog.  Neither of us really liked shitzoos before, but now we are like we could get a shitzoo and name her muffin!---we love her and totally want to adopt her!

Events of the Week at Muffins:

1. Jamie and Megan came and we had a little sleep over

        *I love my girls!

2. We thought Muffin swallowed a squeaker toy

         *Josh and I came home on Tuesday around 11:15 from a movie and 5 minutes after we walked in the door, Roxy/Muffin was trying to bark (or so we thought) and it was just squeaky and I went over to her and held her and felt her throat and it felt and sounded like a toy was in there.  So I freaked out!  I made Josh call the vet and listen to the recording so we could take her to the animal emergency hospital, because I'm the worst house sitter ever!  I leave her alone to go to a movie and she swallows a squeaker--great!  So Josh and I call the place, find out where it is, and hop in the car.  I pick Muff up and remember she pees a lot, yep, she pees all over me, but I'm like its okay we just need to save her!  So we are in the car and we pull off of their street and I'm like wait we need to go back and get her owners' cell phone numbers so we can call them and let them know what is going on.  So we turn around and as we do, we notice that she hasn't been squeaking.  Weird right?  So we get out and bring her back in and we just let her be for a minute and no squeaking and I feel her throat and it feels fine.  Then she started barking normally and we are like...okay, this seems to be good.  So we are like alright...well we don't want to take her to the animal hospital and have them charge us/them a ton of money if she swallowed it and seems to be fine.  So we opted to just observe her and hope all is well.  So next day I called their vet and told them that I think she swallowed a squeaker toy and they basically freak me out and are like you need to bring her in for X-rays ASAP because this horrible thing could happen which would cause this other really horrible thing to happen and she wouldn't live very long or this other bad thing could happen which leads to this other thing...and you get the picture...they freak me out!  So I'm like okay great I have to call them and tell them I ruined their dog.  So I left them a message and finally her owner calls back and she is like oh Roxy is fine.  I'm sorry I forgot to tell you she has asthma and her trachea collapses sometimes and it sounds kind of squeaky.  So luckily, all of that was for nothing...but it scared the shitzoo out of me!

3. I killed 32 spiders in their house

        *Yes I counted!  Because I hate spiders and I killed 4 the first night I was there and then the next day there were more and they were big and all looked related.  So I freaked out and started counting.  Let me tell you I was able to kind of overcome my fear of spiders and I came close enough to them to smash them (and one time one of them touched my toe--eww!).  But yes I killed many-a-spider and only 2 got away all week.  One of them saw me spot him (and he was one of the huge mamas) and he was still and I ran over to grab my shoe and he ran to the corner under the cabinet and I reached for him, but he slipped into the crack and it creeped me out!  Then the other one that got away---i totally let him.  I woke up in the middle of the night sick and had to go get water and I was too tired and sick to kill him, so I let him live.  

It was really a good week aside from all of the spiders!  It was really nice to have a house all to myself.  No parents, no sister, no no one.  I love having that privacy and freedom to do whatever and not have to talk to anyone.  It was also nice to be able to have time with people one on one without other people being around.  

So I love Muffin!  I love house sitting!  (if you know of someone looking for a house/dog sitter give them my name...i love it!)

I miss Muffin!  I miss having a house all to myself!

Josh's Broadcast! (aka sermon)

Last Sunday was Youth Sunday at Josh's and my new church, Pacific Church of Irvine.  So it was a big day for us or rather a big day for Josh.  But let me tell you, he rocked it!  It was great.  

The whole service was run by the youth and by our youth leaders.  So Josh was given the privilege to preach the sermon and let me tell you I was rather impressed.  He basically shared with the congregation what he has been preaching this past month in his series--You Tube, Broadcast Yourself.   He was preaching about how everyone is broadcasting something, everyone is sending out some message.  So he talked about how we need to be broadcasting Jesus to the world and how once we have been transformed by the grace of Christ our story is enough to change us and it is enough to be a testimony to the world around us.  Specifically he talked about broadcasting in the ordinary, being creative in the way we broadcast, and how we broadcast in community.  

So if you have some time to (i think its about 25 minutes--i just listened to it and i should have payed more attention to the time it started...opps?) i would highly recommend  you listen to it.  I'm proud of him--shoooot---he did a great job and blew everyone out of the water.  So check it out!

Josh's Sermon

Engagement photos! part 2

So Mary has put up some of the pictures from last Tuesday!  

so if you want to check it out (because Josh and I are so good looking or if you are just curious or if you're just bored)...go for it!

 http://www.maryrosenbaum.com/erwin

Anyways I know I mentioned this last Tuesday in my blog...but I'm thrilled that Mary is doing our photos because she is simply amazing and our wedding pictures will be amazing!

jamers this weekend

so this past weekend jamie came and visited!  it was such a blast to see her and hang out.  i'm house sitting this week so jamie and megan came over and we had a blast hanging out and catching up and celebrating jamie's birthday.  

my favorite moment was when we decided to go get donuts on monday morning and eat them next to the lake. so as we were sitting there jamie commented on how funny it was that we were all sitting there eating fattening donuts as people all around us were running and exercising--it was great!  so defining of who we are... fatties (all though we still look real good) who eat a lot of junk!  then we commented on how when you're 20 you are supposed to be in the best shape of your life...well---we are all hoping that isn't true!--or that we will be inspired to get in shape this year??

anyways good news!  so while jamie was here this weekend it finally gave me the opportunity i had been waiting for.  i had a question to ask her that i wanted to wait to ask her in person and she said yes!!---JAMIE IS GOING TO BE ONE OF MY BRIDESMAIDS!!!!  I'm so excited to have my best girls all around me for my wedding-Reenie, Megan, Sarah, and Jamie!

so yay for the new addition...my jamie girl!

engagement photos!

so tonight Josh and I finally got to do our engagement photo session.  it was such a blast.  our photographer Mary and her husband Adam shot us tonight down in laguna beach.  it was so fun and comfortable shooting with them.  (well maybe for the first five minutes it was awkward,) but they were so great that five minutes into it we were comfortable and having a good time loving each other while someone captured those moments.  

it was such a blast.  i'm so excited to have them shoot our wedding--it is going to be gorgeous! Mary makes you feel so comfortable and so I'm confident that she is going to make our wedding look just stunning.  (Mary's pictures are so wonderful I just love them check them out at http://maryrosenbaum.com/!)  I'm so eager to see how the pictures came out tonight!  I bet they are great, but i'm just hoping that i didn't mess them all up.  There were a few times when Mary would say okay lets take some serious photos and I would just loose it every time--I just can't keep a straight face when i'm asked to and it is especially hard when Josh is whispering in my ear making me laugh.  so anyways I hope they turned out well--but i'm sure they did because did i mention that Mary is extremely talented?!

Caught in the Middle

i just feel out of place

i'm a college student

i'm engaged

i'm an adult 

i'm a youth leader

i'm supposedly apart of so many different groups, but i don't really fit into any of those so called groups.  well i do, but i don't.  it is true that i'm a college student, but it is unusual to be an engaged college student, so i don't fit in.  i could go on, but i think you get the point... 

and today Josh and I went to a young married couples BBQ for church--which was great, but i just feel so out of place.  i mean come on--one of the couples was pregnant!  PREGNANT, babies are so far away from were we are (despite what jamie always says).  

I don't know 

I just know that i need to trust God in all of this and I need to find my identity in Him and Him alone.  

Let them eat cake

Josh and I went cake tasting today!

(okay so this picture wasn't from today, but still...it is cake!)

  

It was so tasty.  We had cake for breakfast and cake for an afternoon treat--free cake that is!  

So the first place we went to (which is probably the place we will use) was Heidelberg's and the german owner gave us coffee and let us eat cake and browse through their pictures as we enjoyed our morning coffee and cake.  We really enjoyed our cake and found some beautiful designs and we picked out what we think (for now that is) will be our cake design.  

The second place we went to was very different.  No table and chairs, no offering of coffee or something to drink--we just stood at the counter as other people tried to reach around us and get their pastries for the afternoon.  The cake was tasty, but as we searched through the pictures we were taken back by a blast from the past.  All 80's, all horrible!  

So all in all, Josh's favorite part about getting married is doing all of the tasting.  So today we got to both be excited to get married PLUS we got eat all day for free!

Pillows

So I have 8 million pillows!  

all of my pillows from my bed at home + all of my pillows from my dorm = 8 million pillows!

so when i make my bed now this is what you get!

more than half of my bed is filled with pillows, leaving me no room to sleep!

HGTV

So my dad, yes my dad, loves HGTV.  When I first came home and my dad was watching a design show I almost died right there (if you know my dad I'm sure you find this as shocking as I do).  As I questioned him about it, he nonchalantly starts to talk about how he loves this channel and as the conversation continued he even mentioned some of the designers' names.  

As shocked as I was I had to sit down and watch it with him.  

A few months later, here I am hooked!  

The design shows are good, but my favorite are the real estate shows!  Hidden Potential is the best! Check it out!!

I can't wait to get my apartment so that Josh and I can design it!

just turn out the lights

Sometimes I just refuse to go to sleep.  Right now I'm exhausted, but I continue to play on my computer.  I finally closed my facebook when I was like hey what about blogs--and now here I am!

Why do I do this to myself? 

...i have no will power apparently

our culture has ruined so many things...

Weddings and Marriage  

Weddings are the official, legal start of a marriage and marriage was first and foremostcreated by God .  So a wedding is the outward demonstration of a commitment which was made long before the actual ceremony.  A commitment to love and be with each other for the rest of your lives--i.e. marriage.  This is a commitment which is not made between two, but between three.  God is intended to be the center of every marriage as this is the way it is created to be. 

Yet in the culture and society we now live in, this is clearly not the case.  50% of all marriages end in a divorce--a statistic which is heartbreaking.  Divorce does not only affect the couple, but their families, their children, their friends, and all who they come into contact with on a daily basis.  It is ugly.  The love which once was the foundation of their marriage transforms into a mess where words are said in anger and people are asked to take sides.  Yet what is even more horrible is that this reality is not only a secular reality, but the statistic of 50% is also true in the church.  The church should be the one group of people who truly take  the concept that God is to be the center and should live out relationships which reflect that.  Marriage is a lifetime commitment yet it is not a commitment to some fairy tale ending.  It is a commitment to a lifetime together, through thick and thin--trials will come, but when God is in the center, these can be faced because God is on your side.  God must be the center of all of your life and when he is, you can face it all because he will give you the strength and peace you need to make it through.   

so what does all of this mean for me...

As I start to plan my wedding I am constantly faced with the extravaganza that our society calls wedding.  You should see what a bridal show is like--booth after booth after booth of service after service which you "need" in order to have the perfect wedding.  And let me tell you, these people know how to play off of your emotions.  They'll say things like "this is your big day"or "you only get married once" and then they proceed to show you how their price tag is not only reasonable, but quite the deal--yet when you step back for a second you go what!!! $16,000 (before tax) just for my guest to be served chicken and water?!!! 

The wedding industry is one of the biggest industries around.  They make more money off of poor, innocent brides who are just excited to get married than seems fair.  This is something which I need to remember, because it is so easy for me to get caught up in the moment and be like I am only getting married once (since I don't believe in divorce) and so it is okay to spend a couple hundred more to make sure that I get whatever it is I want to make my wedding special (because when you start talking about weddings a couple hundred is really like the equivalent of $20 in normal life).  But when I step back and think about what I'm doing I remember that a wedding is just an outward demonstration of the commitment that Josh and I have already made to each other and more importantly to God.  It is just a time to celebrate with our families and friends and a time to ask them to support us in our marriage and point us in the right direction when we need some Godly advice.  

So as I plan our wedding I am constantly reminded that our world needs Jesus and I need him to be the center of everything in my life.  So as I plan I try to keep it in perspective, knowing what is truly important.  

my fun to do list!

i love that school is done for now... i don't start work until next week so i get to take some time for myself...so here is my to do list which I can't wait to complete

...i am so looking forward to taking some much needed God time--i want to prepare my heart to be in a place of service as Josh and I enter into this new ministry (if you haven't heard yet my Joshie is now a youth pastor at a church in Irvine.  we are so excited to get involved and make new friends at this new church.  the people are so welcoming and it seems to be a fun church which really emphasizes relationships--which i love!) if i've learned nothing else from this last semester as an RA its that I need to be filled in order to be able to pour into others--so that is what i intend to do

...i've been looking forward to summer ever since Josh and I got engaged.  i've been putting off wedding plans until summer so that i wouldn't over stress myself --i.e. so that i could focus on school while i needed to and focus on plans when i was able to enjoy it...which is now! yay! so i can't wait to jump into planning.  Robin and Rob's wedding last night really got me excited to jump in---- i'm really excited

....i'm also wanting to reorganize my room and get settled (since I will be living here until January).  

Basically---i can't wait to get married and to plan the wedding and to get involved at our new church!!!

i love summer!!!  (oh and i almost forgot---the beach...can't wait to go to the beach!)

on my mind

...school: *a million and half things to do this week alone, let alone the projects that are due next week and then finals

...RA (finishing well and making sure to connect with all of the girls before everything gets mad with finals)

...the wedding: *a million people to call and meet with  *money and dealing with decisions and trying to be wise in it all

...Josh and the job hunt and church: *letting God lead us

...taking care of my relationships: *finishing out the year well with my girls and making sure that this summer and next semester doesn't change things  *Josh and I, finding time to spend together besides meals, meeting each other's needs and finding time to nourish our relationship

...me and God: *where am I at?  *why is it that everyday i feel like my relationship with God is different and changing?  *why am I dealing with all of this now?  *how am I growing from all of this?

there is so much on my mind and i need God's peace!!!!!!!

i long for peace

superficial

sick of...

superficial so called friends, superficial people, superficial hellos, superficial smiles, superficial facades...

 i want relationships that are meaningful and edifying.

my new friend!!!

Bernie Mac(Book)!!

YAY my birthday present came early!!

Bronchitis!

The Background:
last Tuesday I started to feel like I was getting sick--Thursday night it hit me REAL bad! As the days progressed I just got worse and worse. Monday morning I finally got in to the doctors (i hate that doctors are closed on Saturday and Sunday--man I would have paid anything to get in over the weekend) so turns out I have bronchitis--ICKY! I've been completely knocked out since last Thursday (its almost been a week).

I just feel so out of touch with everyone. I love that have friends who haven't forgotten about me and give me a call almost everyday, but its difficult when you have no voice and it kills to use the little voice you have and so I still feel so isolated. I am feel completely alone and I am not a fan. I am definitely someone who feels love in the form of quality time and physical touch. I miss being around people--I can't wait to get back to school and see my friends! I miss you guys, especially my Joshua!

Family

This weekend my aunt and uncle came down to spend Easter with my family. I hadn't seen them in 10 years...yes 10! Quite a few years back they moved from San Fransisco to Italy and so it has been FOREVER since we've seen each other. It was really awkward at first because I'd only spoken to them maybe once a year on Christmas, but by Friday (i.e. the next day) morning--it was comfortable. They are family and you will always have your family. As I revisit this seemingly obvious truth, I've found that I don't value family enough.



My dad and my uncle Randy are the only family they have left (besides us) and they hadn't seen each other in 8 years. Yes they talk more often than once a year, but there is just something wrong with this picture. Now that my uncle has cancer I think both my dad and my uncle have realized that they need to make more of an effort to stay connected. Family is huge and I saw the power of that this weekend in the little conversations and in the joy that came from just catching up and learning about each other and our lives. As I grow older and start to look ahead (esp. as I am starting to plan for the new family that I will be forming with Josh), the more I see that family is more than the people who you spend time with because you have to or the people who never called just to wish you a happy birthday or didn't send you a single gift since you were 10 years old, but that family is an opportunity to love without conditions. I'd been bitter about the past and the lack of relationship I'd had with them, but I felt prompted to let that go and move past the issues of the past. It was really freeing to release that and to start over and view them through a lens of love and compassion.

I saw God really working in the family interactions, discussions, and 3 hour long meals we shared. Even though it had been years, there was no fluff or surface level conversations, but deep, intimate discussion arose. In the spirit of Easter, conversations about God and church continued to come up and it caused my aunt and uncle to realize that they needed to find a church in San Fransisco. The Saturday morning men's study sparked something in Randy and Easter Sunday's service inspired my aunt. God moved them and it was beautiful to watch their two different, but genuine reactions to Him.

I am really inspired to see how and where God is moving in the lives of those around me and just to witness a renewal of a longing for something more with our Savior brought me to a place where I realized that I need to long for Him as well. Family can be either the biggest thorn in your side or the biggest opportunity to love regardless and see how God can move in you to then move others.

The only 3 things we can do that God can't

1. Sin

2. Die

3. Be Caused to Exist

much needed escape

sometimes i feel like my life is passing before my eyes. i loose track of the days and i find myself overwhelmed. i am in the midst of this craziness right now. i look forward to resting in God this break, laying in the sun, and spending some quality time with the people i love the most.

oh my...

...blog!

so everyone has a blog these days and my last blog was vetoed, so here is my second attempt to do this whole blog thing. honestly this will help me stay committed to reading josh's blog which is something i forget about (esp. when i don't have a blog myself)---so here's to you baby! i love you

ta da!