Caught in the Middle

i just feel out of place

i'm a college student

i'm engaged

i'm an adult 

i'm a youth leader

i'm supposedly apart of so many different groups, but i don't really fit into any of those so called groups.  well i do, but i don't.  it is true that i'm a college student, but it is unusual to be an engaged college student, so i don't fit in.  i could go on, but i think you get the point... 

and today Josh and I went to a young married couples BBQ for church--which was great, but i just feel so out of place.  i mean come on--one of the couples was pregnant!  PREGNANT, babies are so far away from were we are (despite what jamie always says).  

I don't know 

I just know that i need to trust God in all of this and I need to find my identity in Him and Him alone.  

Let them eat cake

Josh and I went cake tasting today!

(okay so this picture wasn't from today, but still...it is cake!)

  

It was so tasty.  We had cake for breakfast and cake for an afternoon treat--free cake that is!  

So the first place we went to (which is probably the place we will use) was Heidelberg's and the german owner gave us coffee and let us eat cake and browse through their pictures as we enjoyed our morning coffee and cake.  We really enjoyed our cake and found some beautiful designs and we picked out what we think (for now that is) will be our cake design.  

The second place we went to was very different.  No table and chairs, no offering of coffee or something to drink--we just stood at the counter as other people tried to reach around us and get their pastries for the afternoon.  The cake was tasty, but as we searched through the pictures we were taken back by a blast from the past.  All 80's, all horrible!  

So all in all, Josh's favorite part about getting married is doing all of the tasting.  So today we got to both be excited to get married PLUS we got eat all day for free!

Pillows

So I have 8 million pillows!  

all of my pillows from my bed at home + all of my pillows from my dorm = 8 million pillows!

so when i make my bed now this is what you get!

more than half of my bed is filled with pillows, leaving me no room to sleep!

HGTV

So my dad, yes my dad, loves HGTV.  When I first came home and my dad was watching a design show I almost died right there (if you know my dad I'm sure you find this as shocking as I do).  As I questioned him about it, he nonchalantly starts to talk about how he loves this channel and as the conversation continued he even mentioned some of the designers' names.  

As shocked as I was I had to sit down and watch it with him.  

A few months later, here I am hooked!  

The design shows are good, but my favorite are the real estate shows!  Hidden Potential is the best! Check it out!!

I can't wait to get my apartment so that Josh and I can design it!

just turn out the lights

Sometimes I just refuse to go to sleep.  Right now I'm exhausted, but I continue to play on my computer.  I finally closed my facebook when I was like hey what about blogs--and now here I am!

Why do I do this to myself? 

...i have no will power apparently

our culture has ruined so many things...

Weddings and Marriage  

Weddings are the official, legal start of a marriage and marriage was first and foremostcreated by God .  So a wedding is the outward demonstration of a commitment which was made long before the actual ceremony.  A commitment to love and be with each other for the rest of your lives--i.e. marriage.  This is a commitment which is not made between two, but between three.  God is intended to be the center of every marriage as this is the way it is created to be. 

Yet in the culture and society we now live in, this is clearly not the case.  50% of all marriages end in a divorce--a statistic which is heartbreaking.  Divorce does not only affect the couple, but their families, their children, their friends, and all who they come into contact with on a daily basis.  It is ugly.  The love which once was the foundation of their marriage transforms into a mess where words are said in anger and people are asked to take sides.  Yet what is even more horrible is that this reality is not only a secular reality, but the statistic of 50% is also true in the church.  The church should be the one group of people who truly take  the concept that God is to be the center and should live out relationships which reflect that.  Marriage is a lifetime commitment yet it is not a commitment to some fairy tale ending.  It is a commitment to a lifetime together, through thick and thin--trials will come, but when God is in the center, these can be faced because God is on your side.  God must be the center of all of your life and when he is, you can face it all because he will give you the strength and peace you need to make it through.   

so what does all of this mean for me...

As I start to plan my wedding I am constantly faced with the extravaganza that our society calls wedding.  You should see what a bridal show is like--booth after booth after booth of service after service which you "need" in order to have the perfect wedding.  And let me tell you, these people know how to play off of your emotions.  They'll say things like "this is your big day"or "you only get married once" and then they proceed to show you how their price tag is not only reasonable, but quite the deal--yet when you step back for a second you go what!!! $16,000 (before tax) just for my guest to be served chicken and water?!!! 

The wedding industry is one of the biggest industries around.  They make more money off of poor, innocent brides who are just excited to get married than seems fair.  This is something which I need to remember, because it is so easy for me to get caught up in the moment and be like I am only getting married once (since I don't believe in divorce) and so it is okay to spend a couple hundred more to make sure that I get whatever it is I want to make my wedding special (because when you start talking about weddings a couple hundred is really like the equivalent of $20 in normal life).  But when I step back and think about what I'm doing I remember that a wedding is just an outward demonstration of the commitment that Josh and I have already made to each other and more importantly to God.  It is just a time to celebrate with our families and friends and a time to ask them to support us in our marriage and point us in the right direction when we need some Godly advice.  

So as I plan our wedding I am constantly reminded that our world needs Jesus and I need him to be the center of everything in my life.  So as I plan I try to keep it in perspective, knowing what is truly important.  

my fun to do list!

i love that school is done for now... i don't start work until next week so i get to take some time for myself...so here is my to do list which I can't wait to complete

...i am so looking forward to taking some much needed God time--i want to prepare my heart to be in a place of service as Josh and I enter into this new ministry (if you haven't heard yet my Joshie is now a youth pastor at a church in Irvine.  we are so excited to get involved and make new friends at this new church.  the people are so welcoming and it seems to be a fun church which really emphasizes relationships--which i love!) if i've learned nothing else from this last semester as an RA its that I need to be filled in order to be able to pour into others--so that is what i intend to do

...i've been looking forward to summer ever since Josh and I got engaged.  i've been putting off wedding plans until summer so that i wouldn't over stress myself --i.e. so that i could focus on school while i needed to and focus on plans when i was able to enjoy it...which is now! yay! so i can't wait to jump into planning.  Robin and Rob's wedding last night really got me excited to jump in---- i'm really excited

....i'm also wanting to reorganize my room and get settled (since I will be living here until January).  

Basically---i can't wait to get married and to plan the wedding and to get involved at our new church!!!

i love summer!!!  (oh and i almost forgot---the beach...can't wait to go to the beach!)